I’ve got to start with how differently we travelled
through this pregnancy journey.
It was
full of faith and trust that God had every moment of this little one’s life
planned, right from the start.
After
birthing Jack and Caroline naturally in hospitals (both of which were
fulfilling experiences) I knew that if I ever had another child that I’d want
to birth at home.
I didn’t mind the
actual birthing in a hospital; it was the postpartum experience that just
wasn’t for me.
That, added to the fact
that the idea of a peaceful birth, surrounded by the people I love in a place I
love just seemed right for our growing family.
I discovered I was pregnant in April 2011.
We were shocked, but not terribly so.
We weren’t trying and we were (kind of)
preventing; paying attention to cycles and such but, still, trusting that if
the Lord wanted us pregnant, there wasn’t much we could really do about
that.
Well, He definitely wanted us to
have another baby and once the news sunk in (and I had an ugly crying/laughing/praying
fit in the shower one morning) we were over the moon thrilled!
We discovered that my “due date” was
Christmas Day 2011.
How wonderful!
The next step in our journey was to choose our
midwife. I am heavily involved in the
local birthing community and know many midwives both professionally and
personally. I think I probably had a
more difficult time choosing someone because there are SO MANY wonderful
midwives in our area that I know well. I
asked for recommendations from friends and sister doulas and I prayed about my
decision a lot. You know what I
discovered? When God wants you to go in
certain direction, He can often be VERY clear.
I had a few midwives in mind when I started my search and over and over
and over the recommendation was the same: Kim Watkins. We spoke with Kim over the phone for an
interview and told her we’d discuss our decision and let her know in the next
few days since we still had a couple of other midwives to speak with. Jason and I hung up the phone, looked at one
another, and instantly called her back.
Our decision was made. Kim and
her senior apprentice, Abbie, were our midwives.
The pregnancy progressed normally and fairly
uneventfully.
With the exception of some
pretty wretched morning sickness and back/pelvic pain, I felt pretty good most
of the time.
It’s also amazing when
you’ve got a 3 and 5 year old to chase around how quickly your pregnancy seems
to fly by.
That is till your due date
rolls around.
Christmas day came and went and I still had a baby
in my belly.
We had a wonderful time
with family celebrating the holiday and we just knew we’d have a baby within a
week.
The latest I’d delivered a baby
was 40 weeks and 6 days so I was confident that we’d have a new bundle by the
New Year.
The week after Christmas was really nice.
We spent lots of family time together, I had
several chiropractic adjustments (I’d been going at least weekly since I was 15
weeks along), and one “dress rehearsal” of labor in which I’d contracted every
6 minutes for HOURS and called in my entire birth team.
After having my mom, my midwifery team, and
my birth photographer’s back-up (my photographer was at another birth) at my
house for a couple of hours, my contractions fizzled and then just plain ol’
stopped.
That was super frustrating but
everyone around me was so supportive.
At
least we’d had an occasion to get everything out and together for the birth
even though we’d had no baby just yet.
When the New Year dawned I was totally bummed
out.
I was 41 weeks.
I’d never been this pregnant before and was,
frankly, kind of pissed off that I didn’t have a baby in 2011 (I am a tax
accountant’s wife after all).
I sent the
kids off with Jason to church and then attempted to drown my misery in heavily
sweetened coffee and a marathon of TLC junk shows.
Jason definitely sensed that I was “off” (how
could he not since I woke up and immediately started bawling first thing in the
morning) and attempted to give me lots of love and lots of space that
particular day.
He took the kids to play
with some friends that afternoon and left me alone so my friend and massage
therapist, Hannah, could come over for an acupressure appointment.
It definitely helped me relax but, alas,
didn’t start labor.
This little one was
not ready to be Earthside just yet.
I’d texted Kim and Abbie during that day and we’d
decided that if we didn’t have a baby by Friday night, they’d come over and
we’d chat about what to do next.
I had
no idea if I was dilated or effaced at all since my midwives were very “hands off”
about that kind of thing.
In fact, my
pregnancy had been mostly intervention free up till this point with the
exception of some blood testing.
I
hadn’t even had an ultrasound which was just fine by me.
On Thursday, I decided that an acupuncture appointment
sounded like a good idea so I could relax a bit and possibly get my labor
moving.
I’d been having contractions
every 20 minutes or so that morning but nothing I’d categorize as painful or
labor-like.
My appointment was at 11:30
(I had several “good” contractions during my treatment) and my mom went along
with me for the day.
We ran some
errands, went to my appointment, and had a wonderful lunch out before heading
to pick up the kids.
I’d asked her to
pick them up for me so I could avoid the “you’re still pregnant???”
conversations.
I know folks mean well
but I was on my last thread.
I continued
contracting every 20 minutes or so throughout the rest of the day.
After we put the kids to bed for the evening,
Jason and I went for a walk and had such a sweet time just being together and
joking with one another.
We definitely
had a special evening.
I rounded out the
day with a small glass of Moscato (which was wonderful) and a nice hot shower
before going to bed.
January 6, 2012:
3am:
I
remember waking to my first contraction.
I got up and went to the bathroom, of course, and them back to bed.
My contractions were enough to wake me up but
not enough to get me out of bed just yet.
They were coming about every 10 minutes.
4:30am:
I
nudged Jason to let him know he wouldn’t be making his business breakfast that
morning.
I was in labor.
I couldn’t imagine why I’d ever thought I was
in labor the week before.
These
contractions were no joke and I had to breathe through them but I was still
fairly comfortable in bed.
5:43am:
Still in bed, I text Kim and Abbie to let them know that today’s the
day!
I’m still trying to snooze between
contractions that are still 10 minutes apart.
5:50am:
OMIGOODNESS I have to get out of bed.
NOW.
I’m no longer comfortable
and I do not want to have another contraction lying down.
No thanks.
I decide to head to the kitchen and have some juice and cereal while
sitting on my birth ball and checking Facebook before the rest of the house
wakes up.
For some reason this morning, Jack and Caroline
decide to sleep later than their normal 6:15.
They both wake around 6:45 and I think can sense something going
on.
I tell them that I think today’s the
day their new brother or sister is going to be born.
They’re both excited.
The distraction of getting them ready makes
me doubt my labor and I think my contractions may have slowed a bit during this
period.
My mom shuttles them off at 8am
to take Jack to school and Caroline to a friend’s house for the day.
9am:
Jason
speaks to Abbie and lets her know that he’s ready for her and the rest of the
crew to head on over.
It will take them
at least an hour and a half to get there.
I’m not ready for them just yet and am hesitant to tell them to
come.
I really don’t want a repeat of
having everyone out and then sending them all home again but we tell them to
come anyway.
I also call my birth
photographer, Lynsey, and put her on notice that things are happening but I’m
not quite ready just yet.
Jason looks at
the back door and HAS to clean it.
His
nervous energy makes me laugh.
The door’s
been dirty for a while but it had to be cleaned right then.
Hehe!
Jason
and I take a walk in the gloriously beautiful morning.
The high temperature forecasted for the day
was 73!
It was lovely and our walk was
long.
My contractions are still coming
every 10 minutes but are fairly uncomfortable.
Still not painful, though.
All times
here on out are based on my best guesses.
I was entering laborland and my sense of time was definitely skewed.
10:30:
We
return home from our walk and I decide to have a snack.
Grapes and oranges never tasted so good.
And I need water.
Lots of water.
My mom is back from shuttling the kids around
and she and Jason laid hands on me and pray over me and the baby.
10:40:
Lynsey arrives and we chat for a bit.
I decide I have to make Jack and Caroline’s bunk beds. Picture me on a bunk bed ladder breathing
through a contraction. Awesome. I finish cleaning the big kids’ room and work
through more contractions on the birth ball.
They’re probably every eight minutes or so now.
10:50:
Abbie arrives.
She checks on the baby
with a fetoscope and does a quick check of my vitals.
All is well.
Kim and Donna arrive shortly after and begin bringing in their haul of
birth tools.
11am: Jason
begins filling the birth pool in the living room. I need him to apply counterpressure to the
small of my back during contractions while I lean on something (couch, counter,
door frames, kitchen table, etc.) and push back against him. He is right there every time. There’s just something about his hands and
how they feel just right.
Ok, at this
point I’m abandoning times all together.
I have NO idea when things happened and just a vague idea of the order
of things. I’m heavy into laborland now.
I REALLY have to work through my contractions
now. I remember being a bit cold and
standing in the sunshine coming in through the back door. It felt wonderful. Right then a contraction hit and I had to
hold on to the back of the couch and squat to get through it. No more counterpressure. Squatting felt GREAT.
At some point someone asks me if I’m ready to get
into the pool.
Easy answer.
YES.
I
get in the water and it instantly relaxes me.
I’m trying to listen to the praise and worship music that’s been playing
in the background (that Jason had been obsessing over getting just right for a
while – more working out nervous energy).
I remember one song (though I can’t remember which one) that really
moved me.
I know that the Lord was in
our home and guiding us through our birth.
I felt His presence and knew that I would soon have my sweet baby in my
arms.
It was such an amazing encounter
with the Holy Spirit.
I labor resting on
the side of the tub for a while and then find my favorite position:
hands and knees.
I no longer want to be touched much and I
feel like the contractions are coming much more quickly but my pain’s not really
increasing.
It was such an interesting
feeling to me.
I had a particularly intense contraction and was
beginning to feel a moment of weakness.
I needed to call on the Lord to help me through but I just couldn’t do
it.
I asked Jason to come pray over me
and he tried but was overcome emotionally.
Kim placed her hands on me and prayed for me.
I talked to the baby and asked “sweet baby,
come to me”.
I then decided I’d like to
try another position for a minute so I laid back against the tub and
immediately had what I remember the most intense contraction of my labor.
I could NOT be still and could NOT lean
back.
I roared through it and said “I
don’t know what to do with it!”
I meant
the power.
I felt SO MUCH power pulsing
through my body and I honestly didn’t know how to cope and make it work for
me.
During that contraction I felt my
water break and I knew it wouldn’t be long now.
I was vocalizing a lot, very loud and low. I was thinking “OOOOOOPPPPPPEEEENNNNN” as I
moaned through my contractions. Again, I
was not really in pain, just feeling an overwhelming power taking over my body
with each contraction. For some reason I
felt afraid to push and during a couple of contractions, when the power was at
its peak I’d yell “SHIT!” Not like me at
all but so necessary at the time. Now it
just makes me giggle bit thinking about it.
Maybe I was feeling afraid of pushing because I wasn’t sure if I was
dilated fully yet and didn’t want to push if it wasn’t time. This was my first labor that was completely
intervention free – I’d had no cervical checks and didn’t want any. Once Kim and Abbie suggested a little push to
see if it felt right during the next contraction I was able to relax a little
more and give myself permission to push.
I tried a couple of times and didn’t feel ready just yet. I waited and moaned through a few more
contractions until I felt my body pushing on its own. I could feel the baby move down with each
push and it was such an incredible feeling!
Several times I’d become overwhelmed by the intensity and Kim would calmly
whisper affirmations to me to ground me.
It was so incredibly helpful and kept me focused on what I was doing.
I’m not entirely sure how long I pushed but I don’t
think it was more than about thirty minutes.
I pushed on my hands and knees and kept saying “c’mon sweet baby, c’mon
sweet baby”.
As the baby was crowning my
contractions seemed to slow some so my body could stretch.
This was so different for me as Jack and
Caroline came out so quickly.
This was
better.
I did feel the “ring of fire”
this time and I don’t recall feeling it with my other births.
It was no joke.
I definitely yelled “It hurts like FIRE!!!”
Kim had me reposition a little to relieve
some pressure and it helped a bit.
Then,
within a few minutes my body gave some MASSIVE pushes and the baby’s head came
out.
I heard someone say “the head is
born” and then my body gave me a little rest before I had to push out the
shoulders.
With the next contraction I
gave another big push and my sweet baby, the one I’d been calling out, was born
into Jason’s hands.
He passed her
through my legs to me and I leaned back, excited to see my new little one.
We all looked together and discovered we’d had
a girl!
I knew it!
It had been my feeling the entire pregnancy
and I was right.
Little Emmalyn Ruth was born at 2:09 pm weighing
9lbs, 12oz and was 22 inches long.
She
is such a blessing to our family and her birth was so peaceful and beautiful.
We did it!
After waiting “patiently” for twelve days past
her due date we finally had our homebirth!
It couldn’t have been more wonderful.
